Everyone dies someday. But dealing with mortality is difficult for many. We simply don’t know what happens after. This fear prevents us from accepting life on life’s terms. However, learning how to accept death as a part of life can actually help us have a better life experience.
Ignoring our fear of death can hinder our growth and leave us vulnerable to manipulation. However, we can learn to leverage our fear of death.
In this guide, we will review various perspectives on death. We’ll explore why it is challenging to discuss and find healthy ways to cope with it.
Have you ever felt the fear of death unexpectedly? Many things can trigger this fear response. It often comes from religion, a scary event, losing someone, or even reading something online. This fear can cause anxiety, trouble sleeping, or sadness. But there are many ways to understand and cope with it.
Strategies for Dealing with the Fear of Death
As humans, we contemplate our existence, and the realization that we will one day pass from this world can be challenging to swallow. It is known as “the dark night of the soul,” or our fear of death. There are different perspectives on dealing with mortality. Finding the perspectives that you use will help you learn how to manage the fear of death.
Spiritual
The spiritual view of death as a spark for spiritual exploration. Some traditions hold that our existential fear of death is the impetus for the inward journey. It is the first sign of awakening.
Religion
For organized religion, dealing with the fear of death is a sales opportunity. It provides the leverage to sell afterlife beliefs as part of their indoctrination. Some teach that those who follow their rules go to heaven, are reborn, or become part of nature. Different religions and cultures see death as a new beginning or as something to fear, such as going to hell and facing eternal torment.
Philosophy
Philosophy views death as a life change. Some thinkers say remembering that life ends is the key. Learning how to accept death as a part of life begins with embracing the finality of life. Life is constantly changing, and death is part of that. Instead of being scared, we can accept it and make the most of the time we have. Even people without religion often believe our energy or love lives on.
Psychology
Psychology sees death as an opportunity to face fear. We’re often scared of death because we don’t talk about it. Are we afraid of pain, being forgotten, or not living fully? Talking to someone, writing about it—these actions can alleviate our fears. When we face our fears, they feel smaller. Instead of worrying about death, we can focus on today. Laugh, listen, create, and enjoy life. Being present helps us feel more alive.
Social
The social aspect of death is the glue that holds culture together. Talking about death with family or friends can make it less scary. Sharing stories and feelings helps us feel connected and less alone.
Summary of strategies for dealing with the fear of death. These perspectives don’t eliminate fear but provide coping mechanisms. Death is part of life. We don’t have to figure it all out, and we just don’t have to face it alone. However, we do need to avoid or overcome some common obstacles to accepting life on life’s terms and accepting death as a part of life.
Obstacles to Dealing with Mortality
Life is unpredictable, and we cannot control everything that happens to us. Having an optimistic and realistic worldview helps us navigate the unexpected events in life. We live in a world where we are constantly reminded of the importance of being in control. To achieve a healthy outlook on death, we must effectively address two common obstacles to this perspective.
The first obstacle is the harmful cultural programming of religious indoctrination. The second is our survival instinct.
Religious Beliefs Become an Obstacle
A lot of people adopt religious beliefs that promise the benefits of heaven in the afterlife. Unfortunately, magical thinking and pretending do not solve the problem. Now, you have to worry about losing your afterlife benefits. So, you’ve traded one fear for another. Only now, you must pay for the privilege of obtaining these benefits.
What’s worse is that we learn to substitute mythology and superstition for facts. It’s one of the strategies for dealing with the fear of death that sets the trajectory for a whole range of harmful beliefs and values.
These beliefs only create more tension and conflict in our lives since reality does not conform to the ideologies of religion. So, what can we do to break free from the illusion of control and find true happiness? The answer lies in letting go.
Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are among the most widely practiced religions. They all rely on ongoing indoctrination to build and maintain their membership base. This mind control is based on leveraging your survival instinct. They create a fear, like that of the devil and hell. Then they provide the antidote for a price. The strategies for dealing with the fear of death will likely lead you to religion as the main obstacle.
Understanding the Survival Instinct
All living things are equipped with survival instincts. Small creatures, such as insects and bugs, have an innate drive to survive. Some insects, such as bees and ants, will even sacrifice themselves for the greater good of their colony.
It’s natural for all living things to seek out ways to prolong their existence. Every living being is wired for survival. They search for food, avoid predators, and find mates. But are they aware of their mortality?
Humans have this instinct tool. Does our survival instinct keep us from learning how to accept death as a part of life? Or, is our fear of death magnified by the culture? Either way, accepting death as part of life or accepting life on life’s terms isn’t easy.
Do animals fight for life because they fear death, or is it simply for survival? Survival instincts appear to be hard-wired in all creatures, regardless of their cognitive level. We may never fully know if animals can think about their death. However, the drive to survive is a universal phenomenon.
We will use our shared survival instinct while harnessing our analytical minds. This approach will help us face the fear of the unknown and accept death as a part of life. We must be careful not to let religious beliefs undermine our instincts. If we do, we allow others to control us with fear. Sermons about hell and damnation in any religion are warning signs of his kind of manipulation.
Accepting Life on Life’s Terms
To accept life on its terms means learning to deal with things as they are, not just how we wish they would be. It’s how to accept death as a part of life. We must acknowledge that we cannot control everything—such as other people, the past, or unexpected events—but we can choose how we respond to them. It also means using facts and evidence to validate our beliefs.
Instead of fighting reality or getting stuck in frustration, we learn to adapt, grow, and make the best of what we have. It’s a way to find peace, even when life is hard or unfair.
For example, imagine you’re hiking and see a steep cliff. Your body reacts with fear—that’s your survival instinct keeping you safe. That same instinct can make us fear death. But instead of letting it control us, we can use it as a reminder to live carefully and meaningfully.
We can use tools and strategies to deal with the fear of death. This helps us uncover what triggers that fear. Once we identify the triggers, we can adjust our thoughts to manage them more effectively. Since religion and spirituality often connect to this fear, we start there to find potential triggers.
Learning How to Accept Death as a Part of Life
Fear can manifest in different ways. The key to overcoming fear is distinguishing between actual danger and perceived threats. To do this, we need to learn how to face and deal with fear in a healthy way. Here’s one of the best strategies for dealing with the fear of death:
1. Identify Your Beliefs about a Higher Power
The first step in the process is to identify the programming from religious indoctrination. We begin by examining your perspective on a higher power. The imaginary friend is the linchpin that upholds all the harmful religious baggage. If you know why you accepted this concept, you can see how to get past it.
2. Investigate the Origins of Spiritual Beliefs
Use comparative analysis to trace the source of your sacred ground. Comparative analysis is a step-by-step process of comparative religious study. It forces you to look at the authentic sources of your beliefs.
3. Explore Memories Related to the Fear of Death
Use a process we call delving into memories. Here, you search for positive and negative memories. Then, you examine how these memories are linked to emotions. This can be an emotional rollercoaster ride. Many of our memories become entangled with a mix of positive and negative emotions. Sorting these emotions out takes some work. Dealing with mortality will often lead to memories that trigger powerful emotions.
Part of this process uses a technique called the repeating question exercise. Here, you take the memory and ask yourself, “What does it mean?” You keep asking and recording what comes to the surface. You will be surprised at what emotions a memory can hold once you dig past the superficial elements.
4. Replace Harmful Beliefs and Values
Ultimately, the process involves breaking the patterns of thought and behavior. This exercise focuses on dissecting our self-talk. Our fears are reflected in our thought patterns. Identifying and fixing these negative triggers stops you from sliding into anxiety.
Once you let go of harmful religious beliefs and learn how your instincts are tied to survival, you are ready to face your fear of death.
5. Acknowledge your fear
The first step in overcoming fear is to acknowledge its existence. Please don’t ignore or dismiss it. Fear is a natural emotion. Everyone experiences it at some point. Identify what you are afraid of and be honest with yourself. Accepting life on life’s terms and dealing with mortality starts with acknowledging your fears.
6. Understand the cause of your fear
Understanding the root cause of your fear can help you address it more effectively. For instance, if you are afraid of public speaking, try to understand what makes you nervous. Are you afraid of being judged, or do you feel unprepared? Identifying the cause can help you prepare better and take steps to overcome it.
7. Face your fear
Avoiding your fear will only make it worse. To conquer your fear, you must face it head-on. Start by taking small steps toward your goal. If you are afraid of public speaking, start by speaking to a small group of friends or family members.
Accepting death as a part of life requires you to dig up all the fears associated with the unknown. Take it a step at a time. Ruminate on it and discuss it with others. Bringing your fears into the open will help you overcome them.
8. Don’t substitute one fear for another
For example, many religions substitute the fear of death for fear of hell, for the loss of your afterlife benefits in heaven. It is the classic bait-and-switch tactic that keeps you a paying customer. After all, you don’t want to go to hell. Sadly, we are all going to hell in someone else’s religion. Don’t fall for this scam.
9. Regulate your emotional equilibrium
Learning to meditate and practice mindfulness can help you calm your mind and body, as well as manage your fear. Practice meditation or deep breathing exercises to help you relax and stay focused. There are other things under the umbrella of self-care that you can do to reduce anxiety and stress. You are less likely to fall into the rabbit hole of fear when you are emotionally stable.
10. Seek support
Support from family, friends, or a professional counselor is highly recommended. A healthy support system is the foundation for strategies for dealing with the fear of death. The help of others gives you the necessary support and motivation to overcome the obstacles you’ll face. Sharing your fear and discussing it can help you gain perspective and develop a plan to overcome it.
If your fear of death is tangled up with other traumas, then working out a plan with a professional is a good idea. Accepting death as a part of life makes you face the losses you’ve already encountered.
11. Use Laughter and Humor
Humor is a quick way to sidestep anxiety related to death. It also has positive psychological effects that last after the laughter. Watch a movie or video that makes you laugh. It’s that simple. You’ve finally found a healthy way to use your mobile device.
It’s essential to recognize that watching a scary movie can actually reinforce your fear of death. Fear releases chemicals that stimulate the same areas in the brain that are receptors for pleasure. This is why people get addicted to scary movies, haunted houses, and amusement parks. They are addicted to the high of fear.
In 1979, Norman Cousins published “An Anatomy of an Illness.” This work outlined the analgesic effects of laughter. He found laughter boosts our immune system, works out our heart, and gives lasting health benefits. It’s no wonder cat videos are so popular. The results of laughter create an immediate change in our mental outlook.
Okay, you can’t watch cat videos or the Three Stooges 24/7. Humor has its place as a temporary strategy to provide you with immediate peace of mind. Laughter might not erase your fear of death, but it can help you feel balanced. This way, you can manage those feelings more effectively.
12. Increase Your Social Interaction
Social interaction is also essential for developing and maintaining a healthy mindset. Children deprived of loving contact develop unhealthy coping skills. If these issues aren’t identified early, they often persist into adolescence and adulthood. The lack of proper social acclimation can lead to narcissism and other anti-social disorders.
Healthy social curiosity is the foundation for developing healthy friendships. Social interaction reduces our anxiety about life’s uncertainties, including the fear of death.
Terror management theory (TMT) shows how we create ways to cope with the fear of death. TMT is based on the works of Ernest Becker. He believed we develop coping mechanisms early in life, copying our family’s tactics. Many people can relate to this experience.
Improving our social interactions helps create a support system. This system connects people with similar life experiences. Healthy social relationships boost our self-esteem. These two elements are the foundation of TMT, which can eliminate stress. They also reduce anxiety related to mortality. Virtual communication is a good substitute. It is one way to increase social interaction without increasing the fears associated with the ongoing pandemic.
In Conclusion
Death is the ultimate unknown, and it is normal to feel anxious about it. Dealing with mortality is intense. However, by acknowledging our fear, understanding it, and dealing with the sources of artificial fears, we can learn to accept it. We can learn how to accept death as part of life, and by doing so, we can live a life full of joy and purpose. Remember, living fully is the best way to conquer death.
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