integrate ego soul and self how to balance head and heart

How to Balance Head and Heart — Ego Soul and Self

Learning how to balance head and heart is the process of integration involving Ego, soul, and self.  This is one of the primary goals of spiritual development. It makes mindfulness and presence a part of your routine mindset.  You can learn how to do it.

To help you understand what we are talking about, we need to define the terms we use.  There are many ways to describe consciousness and mind.  Some conclusions and concepts are based on scientific research and some comes from spiritual tradition.  Modern psychology is simply the rebranding of concepts from spiritual traditions.

The Balance Between Head and Heart

We’ll start with the basic terms and expand these into more detail.  Our heads and our Heart are terms correspond to our Ego and our Soul.  Consciousness is the conduit linking them to our Spirit or the Observer of our life experience.

You are not your body, the Observer of your consciousness is the real you.   It is who we speak to inside our heads. It’s the entity that watches or observes our lives.

The Head and the Heart have unique channels for receiving energy and hearing messages from the Observer and a greater Source. The Heart speaks to us through our emotions and intuition, and the head talks through reason and common sense.  We need both because they receive different messages.  The Spirit, or Observer, watches the different energies and priorities but does not interfere.

Achieving a balance between head and Heart is the goal.  A balance of power between the two is the deal situation.   Ego or Head dominates most people’s lives because that’s how culture trains us.  The modern culture values Head over Heart, Ego over Soul.

Ideally, we want to live fully present, always connected with the Source.  When we do this, the Observer can come forward to experience life more clearly and direct thinking.

We need to dig a little bit deeper. We need three things to work together to achieve balance. We need to balance, Ego, Soul, and Self.

What is the difference between these elements? Here’s how we define them.  The Ego is our default setting, which contains our genetic personality and instinct.  The Soul is another word for the Observer, we’ve already talked about this concept.

The Self is the new element in our equation.  The Self is the subconscious mind connecting Soul and Ego.  It’s the glue of consciousness.  It is part spiritual identity, part physiology and neurological, and part sociological. (1)

The Ego, our Soul and the Self, need energy to make them aware and alive.  Consciousness the element on which all depend for sustenance.

Connecting to Source is hard to explain. It is because it is beyond the experience of the five senses.  Dr. Wayne Dyer refers to Source as The Spirit (2). He considered himself a Sorcerer because he meditated regularly and bathed in this transcendent place of peace.  He connects with Source or pure consciousness to engage his intuitive gifts.

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi used the analogy of a flower to describe Source like the sap within the plant (3).  The colorless fluid makes the stem green and blossom in different colors.  So, the sap is the Source of the flower’s form and essence.  The sap is everywhere in the plant, from the roots and the stem to the flower. The roots get their energy from the ground.  In his analogy, the root is the link between the ground or transcendent and our conscious awareness.  Connecting to source creates a connection to our intuition.

Another way to look at it is through the analogy of the mansion.  Imagine you own an estate but never go beyond the hallway into any of the rooms.  That is what living with Ego in control is like. You don’t know what you are missing because you have no frame of reference for it.  A lot of people live like this, they never open any of the doors.  How about you?

So if you want to know how to balance head and heart, you are talking about the process of integration.

Integrating Ego, Soul, and Self

Balance between head and heart connecting with source

It’s important to realize that our Ego is not our enemy. Our Ego is simply the tool that connects our minds to our Spirit. It’s a complex mechanism, but we need to be careful not to become fixated or identify ourselves with the instrument of perception.

The influence of social programming fills our culture.  It comes through all forms of media, including the internet, radio, TV, and religion. This propaganda is harmful to both our minds and our soul. It can be a dominant force to control our minds by appealing to our Ego.  Thus, adding to the imbalance of our Ego.  We need a healthy mind and soul to achieve the proper balance.  We need to integrate the Ego, soul, and self to achieve a balance of energies.

Without our Ego to filter perception, we would receive too much input from our bodies and environment. But, it is vital to examine the programming to make sure we balance it. So learning how to achieve a balance between head and Heart isn’t always easy to achieve.

Several things reinforce the Ego’s control; the roles we play, the self-talk we repeat, and the beliefs we assert.  These are all filters that limit our perception.  We also project them into the world whether we realize it. It’s a part of non-verbal communication that is always going on.

The Laws of Attraction

We see how our self-talk relates to the law of attraction, but in a way that we desire. For example, unhealthy self-importance makes one self-centered and attracts the same type of people like a magnet.

Examining and re-programming your thought-life is necessary because we receive messages from several sources that project unhealthy values and judgments. When we learn to understand our Ego’s elements, we can see how it is programmed. We can see the difference between it and the soul, and then you will open your awareness to greater possibilities.  If not, you are negating the effects of affirmations.

Connecting to “source” is important because it helps us see our self-talk patterns.  Once we can see the negative self-talk, then we can change it.

How to Balance Head and Heart

Assess Your Beliefs and Paradigm

First, we need to assess the balance of our current state.  Ask yourself the following questions. It will show you to what extent one dominates the other, and then we will know what we should do to regain a healthy balance.

  • Do answers to problems come to you out of the blue?
  • Do you have these leaps of intuitive ideas or solutions?
  • Or do you need to sit and reason things out?
  • Are you more comfortable finding answers with a process?
  • Are you more inclined to research things before you decide?
  • Or do you go with your gut instinct?
  • Perhaps you avoid making decisions and see how things work out?
  • Do you need some time alone to allow the answers to your questions come to you?

Be honest with your assessment.  Otherwise, you won’t be working toward the correct balance.

Causes of Imbalance

If you are like most people, you expose yourself to large quantities of cultural programming.  The goal of this programming is to sell you everything from cars and deodorants to religious ideologies. It’s the reason you need to question the cultural narrative.   It uses psychological techniques that prey on our fears and insecurities.

They don’t want you to reason things out.  Nor do they want you to reject their sales pitch based on gut-level intuition.  Above all, they want you to make an emotional decision prompted by fear or anger.  It motivates you to make impulse purchases.  As a result, advertisers want to dumb down the customer to make selling easier.

And they certainly don’t want you connecting with the Source.  Your Source has the real answers to your most profound questions.  It has real answers for your existential fear.  Whereas religion has counterfeits, it wants to sell you.

The educational system centers on memorizing things that will make you a good employee for the people who are selling all that stuff you think you need.  So this favors the analytical mind or the Ego.  Most people find their intuitive side is well below their analytical.  So, our analytical thinking is dominant.  Our Heart is secondary or silent.

Both the Head and Heart voices can benefit from programs that strengthen their abilities.  However, most people will benefit from a program that emphasizes learning to hear the Heart’s voice.  It is where you will find your wisdom.   The following are things to keep in mind as you develop your program to strengthen your intuition and analytical abilities.

Balancing The Analytical and Intuitive

Head and Heart

As mentioned above, we do not value intuition in our modern culture.  Many of our greatest thinkers use their intuition as their analytical abilities.

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” — Albert Einstein

First, you will need to dedicate some effort to enhancing your analytical and intuitive abilities.   We suggest using tools such as logical reasoning, spotting logical fallacies, and the spiritual axioms.

Being able to think freely without negative programming showcases one of the greatest paradoxes.  We use the mind’s power to go beyond the boundaries of the mind.  For example, when we exceed the limits of our expectations teaches us how to balance head and Heart.

Our intuition needs more than nurturing. It is often asleep, so you need to learn how to awaken it.  Learning basic mindfulness meditation techniques can let you encourage yourself no matter where you are.  Ideally, we need to spend quality time outdoors.  If possible, in the wilderness untouched by the hand of man. Nature is a sanctuary.  You can use active mindfulness techniques here with excellent results.

Also, we recommend the Japanese wellness technique known as forest bathing.  It will increase your connection to nature.  And we are a part of nature.  So, this strengthens our relationship with the Source. Last, learn more specialized grounding techniques like tree grounding.  These nurturing tactics will refresh the connection to your intuition.  Another tool we recommend is a spiritual journal.  Your intuition will speak to you once you write.  It is by far the best and most underrated spiritual tool.  You can do this almost anywhere.


If you are reading and thinking about it, you are already on your way to finding your balance.  When you seek a balance between head and Heart, remember to add one thing at a time.  This way, you won’t overcompensate.  Learning to connect with the source is vital to our health and wellness.  Achieving a balance of Ego, Soul and Self is possible.

The best way to start this process of integration is by understanding your personality and instincts.  We recommend the use of The Enneagram of Personality.  This tool is based on two questionnaires which plot out your primary personality type and instinctual stack.  We also recommend using a process called Comparative Analysis which is a systematic way of investigating your beliefs by comparing concepts and ideas across many systems.

In order to learn how to balance head and heart, you’ll need to commit to change.  Growth requires integration, and integration means change.


(1) Thine Own Self: True Self-Concept Accessibility and Meaning in Life:

(2) Wayne Dyer, The Power of Intention:

(3) Maharishi Mahesh Yogi:

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