Get The Things We Value Most In Life What to Stop and What to Start

Get The Things We Value Most In Life — What to Stop and What to Start

Getting the things we value most in life often requires adjustments in our choices.  However, the goal of creating a better life is worth it.  Are you up to this challenge?

Understanding What We Value in Life

A better life is something we need to define before we strive to reach it.  However, this quest isn’t as easy as it should be.  Religion and commercialism control much of the cultural narrative.  It “tells us” what we should strive to achieve.  Most of the time, it means accumulating things.

However, many people find out how the treadmills of religion and commercialism do not bring joy and happiness.  The things we value most in life are often things you cannot buy.

Sometimes we confuse desire with value.  We can desire things that are not what we value.  Addictions are desires disguised as something that fills a legitimate need.

Religion sells ideologies filled with promises of financial success and health.  But, its best-selling product is the afterlife.  These are all sales tactics that make people customers.  It substitutes counterfeit answers that do not answer the essential questions of life.

There’s a better way.

The Things We Value Most In Life

The key to getting the most out of this strategy is persistence.  Changing long-standing patterns of thought and behaviors is difficult.   So, before you begin the process, we recommend reviewing the article on change and how it might impact your life.

what we value in life

We often think we are ready for change until we run into some emotional and physical challenges.  Knowing how you might react is helpful.  Reviewing the coping skills for change will help you keep on track.  It will give you the knowledge to push through.

It’s important to realize that this process takes time.  Some people spend months or even years, especially when they have addictive or compulsive behaviors.  The way to do this is to learn what to stop doing and what to start doing.

Seek professional help with this process if you have a history of addictive or compulsive behaviors.  Ask them to help you through this process. That’s because this is “serious” inner work.  So, you can expect unresolved issues to surface.   If they do, then it’s a sign you need to deal with the roadblocks to a better life.  Since we all have our own life experiences, there isn’t one way to handle these.

It’s also helpful to find a partner that wants to undertake this same challenge.  You walk your path, but it doesn’t mean you need to travel alone.  A partner involved in this same type of change process will help you.  And you may find that assisting them to brings clarity to your struggles.

What to Stop and What to Start

This strategy involves stopping negative thought patterns and behaviors, making room to add positive ones.  In other words, you’ve got to empty the negative to make space for the positive.  It sounds easy.  Why is this so hard?

Stopping any long-standing thought or behavior pattern is difficult. Historical behaviors reinforce the negative things and situations in our lives. It’s a self-perpetuating circle of negative thoughts and actions. It’s the essence of self-sabotage, which can be more destructive than you realize because the things we do that are self-sabotaging are often habits.

Habitual activities become unconscious thoughts and actions.  We find ourselves doing the very things we don’t want to do.  Breaking this cycle takes some work. These are what keep us from the things we value most in life.

Another common issue is what we call the comfort zone. Our Ego is comfortable in any situation where it can maintain control.   People can live in unhealthy conditions and do harmful things, and they do not want to change.  Just because you are comfortable where you are doesn’t mean it’s healthy.  If you can envision a better life, you have a goal that can help lead you out of the twilight zone of the comfort zone.

Here’s the positive.  Stopping destructive behaviors leaves more room for good behaviors. We learn to use the mind’s habitual nature to install positive thoughts and actions. There are some universal actions we can take to create a better life.  It involves some conscious effort, but the return is worth it.  When we have more time and space, we can move toward what we value most in life.  So, let’s start with the things you should stop:

What to Stop

Many people find this to be the most challenging aspect.  However, it would be best to stop doing the negative stuff first to make room for the positive patterns. Don’t make the mistake of adding good things to offset the bad.  It will not work. The negative ways are powerful will cancel out the positive, leaving you feeling guilty.

So, for these strategies for a better life to work, you need to identify the negative patterns. Then you can remove them. It makes space for new self-talk and positive behaviors.  Here is a list of the most common things that are roadblocks.

    • Above all, Don’t live life as a victim.  It makes you powerless with the rest of this process.  Everyone has some past traumas. You’ll need to take the time to deal with them.  The problem here is the victim mentality becomes your identity.  When you are a victim, you live life with an undercurrent of fear and anxiety. The goal is to transform from a victim to a victorious survivor.
    • How can you tell if you have a victim mentality?  One way to tell is you spend a lot of time blaming other people for your situation.  Bad stuff happens to almost everyone.  The challenge is learning from these experiences and moving on.  If you can’t move on, you get stuck and start blaming.
    • Resist living and believing what society tells you to think.  We see at least one hundred (100) different advertisements for goods and services every day.  Stay away from network TV and radio.  That subliminal stuff works whether you realize it or not.
    • Stop following popular trends.  It is a never-ending spiral to unhappiness. Don’t let yourself get caught up in consumerism.  Fashion trends lead to unhealthy comparisons.
    • Trying to make other people happy is a trap.  Of course, you still need to meet your boss’s needs at work and meet the company’s goals.  Would you please not make it personal?
    • Relying on others to make you happy is a mindset that makes you codependent.
    • Stop the input of negative cultural programming, especially exposure to self-hypnosis and group hypnosis tactics.  The dominant portals of negative programming are religion and politics.  It comes in several forms, radio and TV programming the typical required meetings.  This type of programming is dangerous for you and everyone on the planet.  It takes up a lot of mental bandwidth and stunts your ability to use reason and common sense.

What to Start

Once you’ve eliminated the negative, it’s time to reprogram.  The space and clarity of thought will make these new processes more powerful. It’s where strategies for a better life pay off.  If you are already doing some positive things, reinforce them.  If you aren’t doing these things, then it’s time to start using them.  You can do this!

    • Assess and make the most of your life situation and abilities.  Most people are underemployed, and many people have valuable skills and knowledge they don’t use.  Find an outlet for these abilities, volunteer.
    • Learn how to research and come to your conclusions.  The scientific process brought us out of the dark ages.  Science, not mythology, is at the root of all human advances.  Learn it and practice it in your life.  Learn how to spot the facts from the fiction.
    • Take time to cultivate and express your creativity.  Art is an expression of the heart.  The source of creative insight comes from a deep place in our spirit.  Do art for yourself, not for others.
    • Help others any way you can, and be open to receiving guidance.  Be a kind person.
    • Use positive affirmations.  However, don’t add these too soon.  They won’t cancel out negative self-talk.  Apply them once you’ve eliminated negative self-talk.
    • Add at least one element of self-care to your routine.

Helpful Tools

    • Use your smartphone to remind you of the things you should start or stop.
    • Use sticky notes on your refrigerator, on your bathroom mirror, and in your car.
    • Don’t reward yourself for success by indulging in something negative.  On the other hand, don’t punish yourself when you fail. Find the lessons in the experience. Realize that you aren’t perfect. Remember, this type of change isn’t easy.  You may have setbacks but keep the goal in mind.

In Conclusion

Learning what to stop and what to start takes persistence.  These strategies for a better life aren’t easy.  But then, change never is.  So, are you willing to put in the work to make it happen?  If you want a better life, this is how to do it.

People may notice the changes in your attitude before you do.  Change is often incremental.  We don’t see the difference because it happens so slowly.  So, keep a spiritual journal of this inner work.  It will help you see the growth and spot any patterns you need to change.

You cannot change the past.  However, you can write some new chapters into the present story of your life.  Keep the goal in mind.  Move toward the things we value most in life.

If this article resonates, there are more on our blog. To find out more about our organization, see our FAQ page.

Are you interested in spiritual exploration?  Check out the blended learning process at the core of our teaching process. We offer this curriculum through our individually tailored virtual learning academy and our traditional face-to-face sessions.  It reflects what Joseph Campbell called the Hero’s Journey (1).  Our learning options include both face-to-face and virtual learning sessions.  Please consider donating and supporting our mission.


(1) Joseph Campbell’s book The Hero’s Journey, Wikipedia

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

You Might Also Like