Emotional Intelligence Training Versus Self-Awareness Coaching Tools

Emotional Intelligence Training Versus Self-Awareness Coaching Tools

Emotional intelligence training is the new skill set of choice for corporate leadership.  These skills and tactics aren’t new.  They are the rebranding of what was considered socially unacceptable psychological manipulation tactics. We’ll show you the facts and offer you a better, healthier option.

In our list of spiritual axioms, we have one that applies here, the duck principle.  If it walks like a duck, has webbed feet like a duck, and quacks like a duck — it’s a duck by any other name.

You rename or rebrand things to disguise their origin.  In this way, you can make something socially unacceptable into something you can sell.  Changing the name of things doesn’t change what they are.  Rebranding and renaming are marketing techniques.

Dark Psychology Manipulation Tactics

We will unmask the components of Emotional Intelligence Training (EI).  Then, you can make an informed decision about using these tactics.  EI’s origins and break down each of its components.  Then, we’ll also provide a better alternative called Self-awareness Coaching Tools.  Let’s start by looking at the effects of using this type of training.

What is scary is that these tactics are all around us. We encounter them every day. We encounter them in the persuasive strategies used by salespeople to toxic people in our inner circle. Emotional manipulation tactics used by toxic people affect our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Learning how to spot dark psychology manipulation tactics is essential. It helps us to cope with and void them.

Forms of Psychological Manipulation Tactics

1.  Gaslighting is a tactic that makes you question your reality.  It can take the form of denying your experiences or emotions or twisting the truth to make you doubt yourself.

2.  Love-bombing is a tactic in which the manipulator showers you with intense affection and attention to gain your trust and control you.  It can be difficult to resist someone who seems so relentlessly kind and caring.

3. Guilt-tripping is a tactic that makes you feel ashamed or guilty for not doing what the manipulator wants.  This can involve playing the victim or using emotional blackmail to get their way.

4. Isolation is a common tactic used by manipulators to cut you off from your support network.  This can make you more vulnerable to their influence and make it harder for you to leave or speak out against them.

The Effects of Dark Psychology Manipulation Tactics

1. Anxiety and Depression are caused by psychological manipulation tactics such as gaslighting. It’s natural to feel anxious and depressed when you doubt yourself, question reality, and feel isolated and alone.

2. PTSD. In some cases, the effects of dark psychology manipulation can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This can trigger flashbacks, nightmares, and other symptoms. It is similar to those experienced by survivors of physical and sexual abuse.

3.  Codependency.  Sometimes, the effects of dark psychology manipulation can lead to codependency.  This is when you become so reliant on the manipulator that you lose sight of your needs and wants.

4. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Certain types of dark psychology manipulation, such as love bombing, can be a trigger for OCD behaviors. This can manifest as an obsession with pleasing the manipulator or an irrational fear of displeasing them.

The effects of dark psychology manipulation tactics can be devastating. But understanding how to spot them is the first step to protecting yourself. By recognizing the signs of these tactics and speaking out against them, you can take control of your own life. You can ensure your safety and others. Remember that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect and have the power to choose who you allow into your life.

Our society has laws that prohibit dishonest, disingenuous, deceitful practices.  Methods that manipulate others for personal gain violate the basic tenets of trust.  These practices encourage other unethical behavior undermining the fabric of society.  Even if these tactics are effective, they are harmful.

When you rationalize deception, you are on a slippery slope.  This type of thinking is habitual and even addictive.  It gives you an emotional high.  When you lie and get away with something, it makes you feel good; it produces joy and euphoria.  The more you learn to deceive, the more you will use them, which leads to other destructive behaviors.

Once it becomes habitual, you use then without realizing it.  You become dishonest because it is something you learned to do.

These skills are used to influence others through deceptive or underhanded tactics.  Advancing the interests of the manipulator is considered exploitative, abusive, devious, and misleading.  We’ll outline how the five components of emotional intelligence training have been rebranded.

Psychological manipulation tactics (PM) have many names.  It is known as Cognitive Deception Tactics or Dark Psychology Manipulation tactics.  These are social influencing skills based on deception and exploitation.  These tactics fall into three primary skill areas.

  • First, learn to mask emotions and project a false emotional effect.
  • Second, enhance observational and perceptive abilities to take advantage of your mark.
  • Third, use deception and exploit emotions to persuade others.

We call people who use these kinds of psychological manipulation tactics con men.  A con man is short for confidence artist.  The con learns how to gain the confidence of others so they can manipulate them.

They train to enhance self-observation skills.  The focus is on learning to read verbal and non-verbal communication.  They practice masking and concealing their outward emotional affect (1).  This also provides a way to mute their moral compass and empathy for others.  It is a skill set that helps them to manipulate others by gaining their confidence.  Then they can influence their thinking and behavior.

Emotional affect is a term in psychology for the outward display of emotions.  Our emotions show through facial gestures and other non-verbal communication.  Almost everyone exhibits unconscious reactions, gestures, and movements that reflect our feelings.  Recognizing these “tells” are the keys people use to predict our emotional state.  Insight into these signs enables people to use dark psychological manipulation tactics.

One thing that stops people from deceiving others is our moral compass.  This is why most people need to be trained to use the tactics of EI.  Many people resist their use because “it doesn’t feel right” to deceive.  Sociopaths and narcissists come by these skills naturally.  People with these personality disorders have no moral objections to these tactics.  These tactics enable someone to exploit psychological, emotional, and financial needs.  It often results in decision-making based on greed.  Con artists work in teams to leverage their deception.

Another example of someone who uses these techniques is a card shark.  They practice concealing their real emotions while projecting false ones.  One accomplishes this kind of emotional smokescreen through various verbal and non-verbal tactics.  These are the same tactics used in PM and EI.

Card sharks practice these skills using role-play exercises and a mirror, like in EI.  People who practice these skills can fool lie detector tests (2).  These tools measure EGK and other physiological measures.  However, EI teaches how to mask emotional affect, which hides physiological effects too.

A New Name for Dark Psychology Manipulation Tactics

EI is marketed under several names.  Some call it Emotional leadership (EL).  Others brand it  Emotional Quotient (EQ) or Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EIQ).  The grifters who developed PM needed a way to capitalize on it.  Companies would not buy anti-social, narcissistic manipulation tactics.   A better option is to rebrand them.

Here is what you do. You make your product sound like another accepted process like Intelligence Quotient. Then you re-label the five components of these tactics to make them sound acceptable. Rebranding transforms psychological manipulation tactics into something marketable—Emotional Intelligence training. It is how unacceptable social tactics become acceptable and marketable.

Rebranding these tactics makes these tactics sound positive.  None of the tactics have changed.  The new names fit nicely into widely-accepted corporate jargon.  It is what justifies the use of these tactics at work and home.

It is evident at this point the EI and PM are similar. We’ll show they are the same tactics, with new descriptions.  Before we do that, let’s look at some other psychometric systems.

What is an Empath?

It’s important not to confuse EI with the natural ability of an Empath.  They have an innate sensitivity to the emotions of others.  This sensitivity to energy is a function of expanded awareness.  It is not a psychological anti-social manipulation technique.

Measuring Intelligence and Psychopathology

Intelligent Quotient (IQ)

The intelligence Quotient (IQ) (3) differs greatly from EI or Emotional Quotient.  Although they sound similar, they assess two completely separate things.  The psychologist William Stern (4) is the first to use the term IQ.

The IQ test measures learning capacity.  Learning involves the ability to use short-term and long-term memory.  It also measures analytical, math, and spatial recognition skills.  Your IQ can change over time, but not substantially.  The older you are, the more stable your test score.  The most volatility in IQ scores is in childhood and adolescence.

Intelligent Quotient or IQ differs from Emotional Intelligence Training. IQ measures the capacity to learn. EI is about regulating your emotional affect while deciphering the non-verbal cues and emotions of others. With this information, you can guide others to make decisions in your favor.

Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI)

The standard for measuring mental health is MMPI.  The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) (5) is a psychometric test.  It is used to measure adult personality and psychopathology.  Psychopathology (6) is the identification and study of mental disorders.

Some commercial versions of the MMPI can identify those who use unhealthy PM tactics.  As we’ll see in a moment, EI tactics are the same tactics associated with PM.  There are ways to measure EI.  For example, the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT.)  Tests like this measure the ability to perceive, use, understand, and regulate emotions.

People with narcissistic and anti-social disorders can master these psychological manipulation tactics quickly.  Narcissists use these tools naturally.  They practice different ways to manipulate people from an early age.  If you don’t come by these tactics naturally, it’s actually a good sign.  It means you have a strong moral compass that resists deceit.

Today, the skill sets of the con man and grifter are incorporated into the training of corporate executives.  Corporate America likes these skills because they produce bottom-line results.

Psychological Manipulation Tactics in Relationships

psychological manipulation in relationships dark psychology manipulation tactics, psychological manipulation tactics

Corporate training for EI involves tactics in five components:

1.  Managing Self-Perception
2.  Managing Self-Expression
3.  Advanced Interpersonal Skills
4.  Decision Making
5.  Stress Management

All five are non-threatening and business-sounding terms, but what do they mean?  What kind of skills do they teach?

These tactics correspond directly with dark psychology manipulation tactics. , which also happen to be the signs of narcissistic and anti-social behaviors.  Now, let’s examine how the specific tactics and the new name make them more socially acceptable. We’ll describe the PM tactic and the new rebranded name for EI.

1.  Managing Self-perception

The first PM tactic is learning to project confidence and dominate.  They use this when the facts don’t support your position.  It requires the ability to ignore the truth, mute empathy, and any social ramifications.  This is renamed Bolstering Self-Confidence in EI.

The next PM tactic is compartmentalizing feelings and ignoring individual and social concerns.  This one becomes Prioritizing Shareholder Value in EI.

A fundamental PM goal is to value profit above individual or social concerns.  This tactic becomes Prioritizing Bottom Line Results in EI.

2.  Managing Self-Expression

The core skill set is learning to ignore your emotions; they re-label it as Controlling Outward Emotional Affect in EI.

PM teaches how to disengage from emotions. That way, they don’t feel guilty for their lack of empathy. They can manipulate with a clear conscience. The new name for this is, Tactics to Increase Assertiveness and Independence in EI.

3.  Advanced Interpersonal skills

PM’s core skill set is monitoring and masking verbal and non-verbal communication.  This tactic becomes Controlling Outward Emotional Affect in EI.

Con artists and card sharks enhance their observational skills to recognize the non-verbal cues of others.  This way, they can identify hot buttons, fears, tells, and the concerns of others.  They use this information to gain the upper hand and decide the mark.  This vital skill set becomes Learning to Observe and Identify the Emotional State and Needs Of Others in EI.

PM’s common grifter technique is manipulating by bartering or using collateral.  This tactic becomes Cultivating Effective Work Relationships in EI.

4.  Decision Making

PM commonly uses coercion and deception to manipulate others.  Deceptive manipulation tactics become Effective Problem-Solving Tactics EI.

They discount and reject empathy for others and the environment.  Its new name is  Impulse Control in EI.

5.  Stress Management

Disengaging from personal and social and the impact of your actions is a PM requirement.  It becomes Flexibility — Adapting to Change Effectively in EI.

Numbing the conscience is necessary to take advantage of people and the environment.  But ignoring our conscience means we live in a state of cognitive dissonance.   They must learn to communicate misleading information to manipulate others without feeling guilty.  The tactics to achieve this become Managing Work-life Balance in EI.

Being able to disengage from your emotions and the impact of your actions is necessary.  If you are to deceive without it affecting your conscience, you must ignore your moral compass.  This becomes Stress tolerance — successfully coping with stressful situations in EI.

Finally, masking emotional affect becomes Maintaining Optimistic — Having a Positive Outlook in EI.

Summary of Emotional Intelligence Training

What is essential is to look at the skill set, not the fancy rebranding name.  Rebranding unhealthy behaviors and tactics does not make them healthy or socially acceptable.  Learning these tactics is a slippery slope because they are harmful manipulation skills.  If you acquire them, they will shape your paradigm and personality traits.  These tactics become a part of your normal behavior.  Once learned, they become a part of how you interact with everyone.

Unintended Consequences of Emotional Intelligence Training

Learning inherently disingenuous tactics will lead to other unhealthy thinking and behaviors.  They divert us from positive values.   Once learned, they tend to become a part of your learned behavior.  These harmful tactics become a part of your psychic structure.  You will practice them in all social settings, personal and business, without thinking about it. It’s the slippery slope leading to narcissistic and anti-social thinking and actions.  It has a detrimental impact on health and well-being and all relationships.

Why has something so inherently destructive been rebranded for corporate consumption?  That is simply because these techniques work in the short term.  People who manipulate others achieve the goals they set out to accomplish.  Profit becomes the bottom line over the cost to the individual and humanity.

As a result, companies must emphasize ethics training to offset the effects of EI training.  When you teach people to manipulate others to meet company objectives, they will also use these same skills to lie about other things.  For instance, EI training makes sexual predators more skillful at hiding their actions.  It helps those who coerce or threaten others be more proficient at covering their tracks.

How Self-Awareness Coaching Tools Differ from EI

self-awareness practices

Many people think there is a better way.  Instead of learning to mask our feelings and manipulate others, we use the same effort to do something positive.  We can practice things that make a positive impact on ourselves and others.  Practicing EI tactics makes us less aware of our impact on ourselves, others, and the planet.  EI gives a short-term gain at everyone’s expense, so enhancing our awareness is a much better choice.

Self-Awareness Coaching Tools are a Better Way

It’s the capacity to see the big picture and recognize oneself as part of a larger whole; awareness and consciousness link us all together.  It helps us comprehend our humanity and need to care for others and the planet.  Furthermore, awareness is the gateway to the virtues of the spirit.  It gives us empathy and motivation to act from an internal sense of right action.  Some say this is where the concept of Oneness originates.

Increasing awareness gives us a perspective to understand our decisions’ long-term implications.  Rather than encouraging narcissistic, anti-social tactics, you can learn to get in touch with the higher virtues of the spirit.  This way, you become more self-aware.  There are many healthy self-awareness practices that you can tailor to fit everyone.

Instead of learning to mask your emotions and conceal the impact of your behavior, you learn to embrace them.  You can learn to enhance awareness.  It helps you see the implications of decisions that affect people and the planet.

Instead of learning to ignore your feelings and mask your Emotional Affect to influence others, you become more genuine.  You find out how to express empathy and emotions positively.  You learn to accept and work with others with different points of view.

Learning and integrating self-awareness of these tools into your daily routine is easy.  They are suitable for you and everyone in your circle of influence.  Best of all, these tools are easy to learn and use.  You can learn most tools for expanding awareness from articles on this website.

List of Self-Awareness Coaching Tools

1.  Japa Meditation.  This meditation is the direct link to the 4th state of consciousness called the transcendent.  Its more common name is the Transcendental Meditation technique.   It is the home of pure awareness and peace.  It is characterized by awareness without thought.

2.  Moving meditation is an action performed with a heightened level of awareness.  These techniques involve a high level of mind-body coordination.  These modalities have a positive effect on our health and wellness.  This progression includes energy collection modalities like Qigong and Tai Chi.  It also includes Forest Bathing and grounding techniques, like Tree Grounding and Sun Gazing.

3.  Mindfulness Meditation.  This is an excellent way to move toward this healthier mindset.  Another variation of this walking mindfulness is Forest Bathing.

4.  The study of logic and reasoning.  Enhancing your critical thinking skills is important.  You need them for analyzing data and making informed decisions.  We use a set of three related tools.  The first tool is essential critical thinking skills which summarize the primary use of logic in language.  It shows how people misuse arguments to sell us ideas and beliefs.  Next is a tool called the ten common logical fallacies.  This module provides practical examples of the most common logical fallacies.  The last module is the tools to know the truth, the spiritual axioms.

5. Comparative Analysis is a systematic way to compare different concepts in paradigms. It is a process of comparative religious study based on the scientific model.

6. The Enneagram is a cognitive science tool that helps us understand the mechanisms of Ego, personality, and instinct. It is written in easily understandable language so the layperson can understand it while it is deep enough for any clinician. This makes the Enneagram a powerful system available to almost everyone.

7. Awareness Expansion tools include a variety of techniques. It relates to tools like the Shamanic Journey, Guided Meditation, and lucid dreaming. It also includes third-eye awakening exercises and techniques to improve memory (learning how to learn).

8. Journaling can help you gain insight into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Reflecting on your experiences develops greater self-awareness. It helps you identify patterns that may be holding you back.

There are better alternatives to cope with stress and increase your overall health and wellness.  Moving toward a greater awareness of ourselves enables us to make better decisions.  We learn to empathize with others and social concerns rather than numbing out our conscience for corporate profit.

In Conclusion

We believe Self-awareness coaching tools are superior to Emotional Intelligence training. Psychological manipulation tactics promote the use of socially destructive behaviors. They erode the moral compass, which can lead to other narcissistic practices.

The tools for expanding self-awareness help us get in touch with our feelings and thoughts.  It doesn’t numb them out but brings them into focus.  This is the opposite of EI.

The Self-awareness approach helps people understand why they react in various situations. It helps us to develop a deep understanding of who we are. They learn to recognize what they stand for and what drives their decisions. This self-discovery process builds self-awareness and enables individuals to handle any adverse situations.

Are self-awareness coaching tools a better choice than EI tactics?  It is the opposite of EI and dark psychology manipulation tactics.  It teaches us to consider the wellness and fairness of other people and the environment.  The choice is yours.


(1) Emotional Affect
(2) Lie Detector Test
(3) Intelligence Quotient (IQ). 
(4) William Stern
(5) Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory
(6) Psychopathology